Yesterday was May 10th. Exactly 2 months since I lost my sweetheart. It was a beautiful day. Blue sky, warm temps and a bright sunny day. I had my moments of sadness that float in and away reminding me that there is a pall over everything and I cannot truly enjoy anything. Unreasonable, I know…but that’s how grief works. A demanding, joy-robbing shadow that casts itself over all things beautiful. I’ve decided that this will be the forum which I will share my thoughts and my social media will be a place of healing and grief-free…if that’s possible. My personality on line of the grief struck widow is not something I want to share any longer. It’s time to keep that part in the hands of a very small group of people…and dogs, and a cat, and some chickens…
Tag: #grief
Life and Death
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written. So much has changed in my life. Early one Tuesday morning last month, my spouse of nearly 15 years, collapsed. I did cpr and despite a few promising days, 6 short days later, I watched the love of my life take his final few sips of air and watched him gently slip away. I buried him 4 days later. Grief is this unbearable pain that sits atop of me, smothering out all joy. I wonder if I will ever be truly happy again. I wonder if I will ever go for 24 hours and not dissolve into tears. I felt so strong in the beginning, but in actuality, I was too busy, too burdened with tasks to feel the loneliness and loss. Now that life has returned to normal all around me, I feel anything but normal.i feel crushed and ruined, never to be whole again.
Life on Chicken Creek 