It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written. So much has changed in my life. Early one Tuesday morning last month, my spouse of nearly 15 years, collapsed. I did cpr and despite a few promising days, 6 short days later, I watched the love of my life take his final few sips of air and watched him gently slip away. I buried him 4 days later. Grief is this unbearable pain that sits atop of me, smothering out all joy. I wonder if I will ever be truly happy again. I wonder if I will ever go for 24 hours and not dissolve into tears. I felt so strong in the beginning, but in actuality, I was too busy, too burdened with tasks to feel the loneliness and loss. Now that life has returned to normal all around me, I feel anything but normal.i feel crushed and ruined, never to be whole again.
Life on Chicken Creek 